City of Portland Mayor
OCCUPATION: College Student
OCCUPATIONAL BACKGROUND: Umpire
EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND: Lincoln High School
PRIOR GOVERNMENTAL EXPERIENCE: None
The politicians who’ve been running Portland for so long will argue that I am too young and inexperienced to run Portland. It’s a kneejerk response but what would you expect from jerks who’ve brought Portland to its knees?
The problem with our civic leaders is we don’t have any. What we have are account managers in hedge fund schemes known as the Rose City. They take their orders from developers and power elite like waiters take a dinner order. The only difference is instead of nametags these leaders come with price tags.
It’s time to stop rotating the account managers around. We should try having an actual mayor for once. We should try a real leader.
Don’t get me wrong. If you overlook the $16 trillion debt, the loss of personal liberties, and the need for military adventure; the adult generation has done a pretty good job.
Okay, that’s not true. If this generation screwed things up any worse, the earth would spin backwards, and the moon would be in the pawnshop.
Why bring a new set of these incompetent, corrupt clowns to work us over? Why not skip this group and let them go back to their reckless personal lives, and bring someone who would actually work for the People of Portland? While other candidates are busy fund-raising and subdividing the city into districts worthy and unworthy of attention, my campaign’s grass-root efforts have been used to address Portland as a whole.
If you don’t know who I am, I’ll get a nametag, but unlike these other politicians, I won’t be wearing a price tag.
“Viable” is a judgment given to the voters.” ~ Honorable Bud Clark, Portland Mercury 9/26/11
“…there’s a lot to be said for the 19-year-old candidate who tells it like it is. So he’s got our endorsement. We’re voting for Max Brumm. Seriously.” ~Jack Bogdanski, www.bojack.org 1/24/12