It’s often easy to think of aging parents or older adults as self-sufficient, transcending the need for deliberate connection. But as many experts can attest, it’s quite the opposite.
“As we age, and if we have more time, we need more opportunities to fill our lives,” said Mya Chamberlin, executive director of Friendly House. “And as we become more vulnerable or lose people close to us, we need to keep building that community because nobody wants to be alone.”
That’s one of the reasons why Chamberlin’s organization, Friendly House — a 95-year-old social service organization and community center in Northwest Portland — lives up to its name. The community center serves people throughout their lives, from preschoolers to seniors.
Friendly House is a longstanding partner with Multnomah County, serving as a District Senior Center for older adults. Many of Friendly House’s programs receive funding through the 1965 Older Americans Act, which the County passes to community organizations.
“I just think Friendly House is a perfect name," said Sue Wendel, an instructor for the organization’s “Dance Around the World” class. “It’s made me feel really welcomed, and I’ve gotten to know these wonderful dancers.”
When Wendel moved to Northwest Portland, she didn’t know anyone. So she launched a folk dance class. Carol Maresh was one of the first dancers who came, “and we just clicked.”
Wendel asked Maresh, who also serves on the Friendly House board of directors and the Elder Pride Services’ Housing Committee, to join her as an instructor.
“It’s old-world countries, old cities, cultures. Each region has their own unique style and music, and they develop these dances. As people traveled through the centuries, they took their dances and music with them," said Maresh.
“It’s not a performing type of style,” said Wendel. “It’s very natural. You come together for super social reasons, weddings, parties, birthdays, or just cultural gatherings and celebrations. It’s not about perfection.
“We just try to bring the spirit of the culture of the world to this community.”
It’s one of many avenues for seniors to build connections at Friendly House, alongside activities that vary from tai chi lessons that help seniors stay strong and keep their balance to avoid falling, to pickleball, fitness classes, educational workshops, community nights, congregate meals, and a range of other services referrals and support programs.
“While they’re here doing the great things… they then also learn about other services, such as case management and family caregiver support programs,” said Lynn Schemmer-Valleau, a community services program manager with Multnomah County’s Department of County Human Services.
“That’s what rounds things out beautifully.”
Friendly House is one of five District Senior Centers that partner with Multnomah County’s Aging, Disability and Veterans Services Division to help coordinate and offer services that help older adults.
Friendly House also provides information about Senior Health Insurance Benefits Assistance (SHIBA), as well as legal aid through the Senior Law Project.
And when extreme weather events hit the community, Friendly House again shows up, serving as a cooling center during a recent August heat wave, as well as a warming shelter during dangerous winter conditions.
“We’re also here for heating and cooling needs,” said Chamberlin.
Friendly House also offers Elder Pride Services, a program that enhances the lives of older LGBTQIA2S+ adults. Members gather for activities like Willamette River canoe trips and shared meals.
“It was hard finding a community in the LGBTQ+ world,” said Cindy Surendorf, who moved to the area from Minnesota. But a friend introduced Surendorf to Elder Pride Services and lunches through Meals on Wheels People, which she regularly attends. And now she even brings her granddaughter.
“We love having the Elder Pride group,” said Surendorf. “We’re here because we’re all one big happy family. We have a meal together, and it’s been really important to just laugh and have fun. We do a lot because we’ve had a lot of losing.”
Meanwhile, even as the need for services and a sense of community continue to grow, the federal funding landscape has been precarious amid the looming threats of budget reductions.
“For seniors, it’s really hard to find a community and comfort,” added another guest. “I don’t feel good about all that’s going on. The thought of losing Meals on Wheels is scary.”
Friendly House is preparing for renovations that will transform a nearby building into a child center for preschool and after-school programs. The remodel will also create more space in the main community center for older adults, LGBTQ+ seniors and the community at large.
“That’s really at the heart of Friendly House,” Chamberlin said. “This idea of reciprocity and this fundamental belief that everyone who walks into Friendly House has something to give and something to receive.”
Learn more about Friendly House and other resources for older adults by calling the Aging, Disability and Resource Connection Helpline at 503-988-3646.
