In the days after brutal attacks in Baga, Nigeria, Beirut and Paris, Sonja Miller wasn’t surprised by the outpouring of sadness -- and then anger-- on social media.
Terrible events, even continents away, can trigger old grief.
“If you have had prior losses, whether it happened suddenly or slowly, there’s an upwelling of sadness -- and anger,’’ said Sonja Miller, a Multnomah County mental health manager who led the local mental health crisis response to recent mass shootings.
Much of that anger can play out on social media, as people express their frustration at the terrorists, the media, and the reactions and perceptions of others.
“We tend to feel anger that this is happening, that people are dying,’’ Miller says. “That anger can get misdirected, so we want to be thoughtful about that.’’
Having strong feelings is a normal response to horrific events, and also highly individualistic. Some people may feel sadness, others hopelessness, others almost physical pain.
Many people find comfort in rituals, that’s why laying flowers at important sites, lighting candles and attending vigils can be helpful. Some people want to take part in symbolic acts, such as putting a screen of the French flag on their Facebook profile picture, to show their sympathy.
“It’s about making meaning out of all of it,’’ Miller says. People also grappled with guilt amid revelations about other horrific events in Beirut and Nigeria that received less attention.
Social media, and the political backdrop it often features, can soon make users feel overwhelmed.
“People need to be aware of overloading themselves with social media and news reports,’’ she said. “There is only so much psychically we can take in and stay functional. At some point, you have to turn off the TV, log off social media and ignore the tweets, because we need to take care of ourselves.’’
She advises people to consider what makes them feel better: talking to friends, volunteering for the community, engaging in their spiritual practice, such as praying or meditating, being physically active such as walking or running, playing with kids and making dinner.
She said to keep in mind that others are also trying to make sense of things and to be watchful that those feelings don’t begin to interfere with daily life and activities like sleeping or eating. At any point grief or anger overwhelms daily life, she urges people to call the crisis center at 503-988-4888. A trained mental health professional is available 24/7 and can also refer callers for free or low-cost counseling.
“We don’t have control over the world,’’ Miller says. “But we do have some control over taking care of ourselves.’